Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
by RenaRoo
Summary: It was their one shot and Wash had to make sure Tucker made it to the end.


Prompt: ( goodluckdetective ) stealing from THIS [ goodluckdetective tumblr. post/122566510600 ] amazing post idea she gave 83

I'm so happy to do this. I HOPE I DON'T LET TUCKINGTON DOWN

Red vs Blue and related properties © Rooster Teeth  
story © RenaRoo

 **Kiss Kiss Bang Bang**

The Reds and Caboose had the entrance covered, for as long as that might've lasted, and so it was up to the three (four, counting Epsilon) of them to break through the barriers and make it to the temple's center.

If the map Santa had laid out for them was correct, it was a bit of a trip with plenty of false halls to get lost in.

Their best plan was to stick together. Wash had stressed it many, _many_ times as they had prepared for this entire thing. It might have annoyed Tucker a bit to be reminded, but, well, it wasn't really _for_ Tucker.

"Incoming!" Epsilon screeched, giving the three soldiers barely enough time to duck beneath a fired rocket.

The temple rumbled with the explosion.

"Who the fuck was that!?" Wash demanded, getting up and offering Tucker his hand.

"It's time to finish what we started, Carolina."

Immediately, their leader turned and looked at the black and red armored merc approaching. Wash barely had time to blink before he realized that the merc's gaze had shifted from Carolina to Washington himself.

"You," he growled. "You were there, too."

"I was?" Wash asked before Carolina yanked him and Tucker back down from a blaze of fire. "What the fuck is with this guy- oh. _OH!"_

"One of the Insurrectionists," Carolina growled.

Tucker glared at them both. "Have you guys realized yet that you manage to piss off _absolutely everyone_ that would be a pain in the ass later?"

She ignored him, looking to Wash instead. "He's got a beef with us. Especially me. I'll handle him, you two continue with the plan."

"The _plan_ is to stick together, Boss!" Wash reminded her, but Carolina was already gone, the merc following. "Unbelievable. Okay. Come on, Tucker. We're seeing this through."

Picking back up their pace, Tucker and Wash raced through the temple, occasionally glancing to the read out map that Santa had given them.

"Think Carolina can take him?" Tucker asked, huffing already.

"I think if that former Insurrectionist thinks that getting Carolina angry is a good idea, he's got another thing coming," Wash said flatly before grabbing Tucker's arm and pulling him against the wall.

"Wash! What the hell-"

"Shh," Wash whispered, looking ahead at the growing shadow. "Someone else is here."

Tucker's hand shifted to his sword, Wash's to his rifle as the clank of reinforced boots sounded around them.

"I know you're there, Agent Washington," Locus' voice called. "And I believe it's time for the record to show _who_ is the proper warrior."

Wash looked to Tucker seriously, pushed him back. "Go. I'll take care of this."

"But-"

"Tucker. _Move."_

He did, Wash stepped out. "Alright, Locus. Let's settle this."

* * *

Locus was good. Arguably worthy of going toe to toe with many of the top Freelancers, though Wash was sure Carolina would have had his tail handed to him for such a thought.

His skill had caught Washington off guard in their last encounter, even if many of the falls he and Carolina had taken were to prolong the fight.

It was why Wash had been training, why he made certain to keep his distance more. Hand to hand combat might not have been his specialty, but long range weaponry certainly was.

He fired off a shot, watched Locus' dive to avoid it. Watched expectantly as Locus' armor shimmered and begun to disappear.

"That's a neat trick, Locus," Wash admitted openly. "A friend of mine had that enhancement. She was better than either of us, even if it didn't serve her well in the end." He waited, knowing Locus was on the move, Wash began switching out his ammunition.

"Of course, it wasn't the only trick I learned from her."

"Enough talking, Agent Washington-"

Wash ducked down, switched to his pistol, turned and fired away, watching the splattering of paint coating the formerly invisible Locus.

"A child's-" Locus began, stopping only as his painted leg dropped to the floor seemingly outside of his command.

Wash switched again to the foam bullets and aimed for Locus.

"Armor lockdown," Wash explained, standing up. "It's a safety feature for training. Standard with all Freelancer equipment. I doubted, what with the rate your scientists were being forced to reproduce our equipment, that they would have erased all base protocols. It could've been _time consuming_ to remove that from all the coding."

He stared at Locus, ignoring the growl of aggravation, until he heard from further down the passageways - something akin to crashing and shots fired.

Wash's stomach sank. "Tucker."

Without any further hesitation, Wash fired off all the last rounds of foam at Locus, effectively freezing his armor to its spot, and took off as quick as he could toward the main chamber.

* * *

The words were difficult to decipher with Wash's nerves resting literally on end, but the voice was familiar enough. Between the slew of curses that were without a doubt Tucker, there was the sharp and biting tongue of the last unaccounted for mercenary - Felix.

The possibility that Felix would show wherever Locus did had been in the back of Wash's mind, but for some reason he had hoped beyond all hope that Tucker would have been smart enough to pass up the opportunity of a rematch.

Locus had messed up Wash in their last encounter. But Felix had all but _killed_ Tucker in the same attack.

"You know, Captain Tucker, I had almost thought about worrying for this rematch," Felix cooed just as Washington finished reloading live ammunition and turned the corner.

The aqua marine armor was on its knees, heaving as Felix pointed his pistol for Tucker's helmet.

"Fuck. You. Felix."

Wash's eyes widened. "Oh, god, no-"

The merc fired three times point blank, knocking Tucker back onto the floor, bullets smoking in the floor behind them.

"TUCKER!" Wash screamed with everything in him. His body worked purely on muscle memory, whipping forward and firing straight for the unsuspecting murderer.

Felix didn't care, he was laughing, waving for Wash to come for him when the Freelancer felt his full body freeze, staring in utter shock as an aqua colored marine stepped out from behind the corner, aimed its rifle, and shot Felix in the back.

He blinked, thinking at first that his mind must have been playing games with him, that it was _Carolina_ stepping in, but it was him. Tucker was standing behind Felix and shooting him again to make sure the black and orange jerk was down.

"Motherfucker!" Felix snarled as Wash did a double take to the Tucker on the floor, then to Tucker himself.

"What the..."

"That," the familiar booming voice of the alien AI called from above as the Tucker on the floor flickered out of existence, "was a _foolish_ plan."

"Are you shitting me?" Tucker asked, looking to the sprite of the alien AI as it formed before them. "It was a fucking fantastic plan!" Tucker turned and sneered at Felix. "You thought I was dumb enough to do the same ploy twice and be your pin cushion, Felix? Ha! Joke's on you, asshole. Looks like I may have _two_ good ideas in me!"

"There is, in no other circumstances, a way that would have worked!" Wash roared, marching over to Tucker. "What is wrong with you!? Do you have a death wish!?"

Tucker whirled around to face him, yanking off his helmet in utter satisfaction, the whites of his teeth showing. "C'mon, Wash, you wouldn't hurt such a pretty face!"

Wash stared at him, angrier than he could have ever properly expressed, before ripping off his own helmet. He didn't even process the surprised blanching Tucker made before Wash roughly grabbed the sides of his face and pressed his lips to Tucker's so fiercely he could hear his own teeth clash together.

Tucker laughed into it, warm and living and Wash _swore_ if this had ended badly he would have just killed the sim trooper then and there.

"Fuck my life," Felix snarled from the floor.


End file.
